Finding The Pace

Over the past year, I started learning to stop pushing myself so hard. I used to think being strong meant always doing more, always moving faster, always holding it together. But forcing myself like that just left me drained, disconnected, and honestly… a little lost. I’m realising now that strength isn’t about never slowing down, it’s about knowing the limits, giving yourself space and moving in a way that doesn’t break you.

I’ve been missing Allah in a quiet, constant way. Not dramatic or emotional, just… present. I could stay busy, meet people, fill my days, but there was always this subtle emptiness underneath. Slowing down made me notice it, and now I’m trying to reconnect in a way that actually feels right, not forced.

Grief is still around too. It doesn’t go away, it just shifts shape. Some losses leave permanent marks. I miss people I thought would always stay, people who were close at one point. Life happens, people move on, that’s okay. I’m learning to accept it without blaming myself, without overthink much abt it. People come and go. That’s just life.

Work & success feel different now too. I don’t feel the need to prove anything anymore. As long as what I earn is halal and I’m doing my part, that’s enough. I don’t have to be as fast or as “impressive” as anyone else. Rezeki isn’t a competition, and I’ve realised worrying about it only drains my energy.

I’ve also started accepting how I look. I’ve spent years being hard on myself, always noticing what’s “wrong” instead of appreciating what is. This body has carried me through stress, grief and growth. It deserves respect, patience, and care, not constant criticism.

Right now, I harap I can keep up the consistency, not perfection. Steady steps in my deen, even when I don’t feel strong. Covering my aurah because I want to, because it aligns with who I want to be, not to impress anyone.

I’m done chasing a life that looks good on the outside. I just want a life that feels balanced, grounded, and aligned. In shaa Allah, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Okay dada wuv you !